You teach people how to treat you. When you say yes when you mean no. When you relent because it’s easier than arguing. When you value your client’s happiness over you own.. Houston, you have a problem. You taught people to disregard you.
How To Be Treated Like A Gem
My family and friends like to say that I inspire cooperation. That’s true. I’m a mediator after all.
However, It’s more accurate to say I expect cooperation when I ask for it. I’m confident things will work out and it shows in my voice, my words, even my stance! You can inspire it too with these tips.
Know what you want.
Obvi-right? Not so much. Many people have no idea what they actually want (but you knew that, right? 🙂 They don’t know what’s reasonable to expect or even what the options are. Ask yourself: what do I expect from my clients about…& why? Topics to include: payment, deadlines, revisions,etc.
Expect a yes.
What we think about we bring about to quote Michael Beckwith, one of the contributors to the Secret. So, believe you can be treated well and hold that intention. The non-verbal message says it all!
Say it with confidence.
How you say things is equally important as what you say. Use your big girl voice, take a breath and strike a pose.
The first few times you speak up for yourself you’ll probably be nervous. That’s perfectly normal. This is like learning to cook; you get better with more practice and a good recipe.
Keep this in mind and you’ll feel more assured.
We as humans are socially conditioned to say yes to requests.
Even unexpressed ones (like holding the door for someone). Social scientists like Tevorsky and Cialdini suggest that a request paired with a reason (one like I’d prefer that) works! People will say yes.
So the next time you feel helpless with clients, colleagues or others, speak up. Tell them how you’d like to be treated, be heard & prosper!
How do you let people know how to treat you?