5 Ways to Flip a Comparison Hangover and Fuel Your Business

Is there someone out there in cyberspace who you consistently think has their stuff together way more than you do in business? Do you feel like everyone else is creating bigger results, with more clients and more cash flow? And more importantly, what are you making that mean about you and your ability to grow a soul-fueled business? Are you giving yourself a “comparison hangover”?

Here are 5 ways to flip a comparison hangover into fire in your belly for your own business growth:

Stop Looking Up

The time, energy, and sometimes even money you expend paying so much attention to other people’s businesses is taking away from your own, plain and simple.

Instead, honor yourself and your business with your full attention. You only have so many hours in the day; use them to do your business good, not harm. Clear out your inbox of all those subscriptions that make you feel not good enough when you open them, beware of wasting your time following competitors online, and gift your time and energy to only those things that bring you closer to your own big soul intentions for your business and life.

Stop Measuring Your Insides to Someone Else’s Outsides

We have been conditioned to measure ourselves against others from a very young age. Problem is, we cannot help comparing our internal landscape, with all its doubts and fears and wobbly bits, with someone else’s seemingly bright shiny outside. The truth is, no matter where anyone is in their entrepreneurial journey, they will be dealing with some or all of these: seeking better balance, normal human fears, procrastination or overwhelm around a new business stage, or a new level of expansion in their self-development.

Instead, stay grounded in the knowledge that behind the scenes, the person you are comparing yourself to is just another person. He or she still puts their pants on one leg at a time, just like you. Stop making yourself different.

Stop Listening to Your Lizard Brain

Prehistorically, our minds grew to send us fear messages around perceived threats to keep us safe and alive. These include the fear of not being good enough, the fear of standing out, the fear of not belonging. Comparing yourself to others can often trigger these prehistoric protective circuits in the mind, firing up the DANGER DANGER warning signals when you look outside of your own business into someone else’s world.

Instead, challenge your lizard brain, even befriend it, and talk to it. First, be aware of the dodgy beliefs. When you start to compare yourself, become crystal clear aware of the BS you are telling yourself like, “I am never going to be able to write that,” “She definitely will get more people into her group program,” or “I just don’t look that well put together.”

Second, test the belief and ask yourself “Is that really true?” And finally, consistently choose a more helpful belief. For example, when I become aware of an unhelpful thought tracking around in my head, here’s what I say: “Sweet, sweet lizard brain, thanks so much for trying to keep me safe, but I have totally GOT THIS!” Adding a helpful declaration also benefits you. For example, “No matter how real my fears appear, I am always safe and supported,” and “I am perfect whole and complete exactly as I am,” are two of my faves.

Stop Comparing Apples to Raspberries

Chances are the very people that seem like they are so much farther down the track than you, probably are. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are somehow smarter, more capable, better businesswomen or more connected than you – it simply means they may have been in the game longer. Making yourself feel less than people who have been around 10 years when you are in your first year of business is downright disrespectful to yourself, so stop it.

Instead, allow the people who have “been there, done that” to shine the light on your potential. Know that if they can create what they have in 3 years or 5 years or whatever, than so can you. The energy behind noticing what other people are doing from this standpoint is far, far more supportive of your business dreams than firing up the old not good enough chestnut.

Stop Filtering with Lack

Pay attention to what you are really making this comparison hangover about. What are you so darn afraid of honey? Is your real under the surface fear that if someone else has business success then that costs you yours? This is ridiculous. There are more than 7 billion people on the planet, so how can it possibly be reality that one person experiencing business success costs you yours?

Instead, choose to look at everything through the understanding that there are more than enough clients, revenue, freedom, growth, and abundance for everyone. Just feel how much better that feels in your body, honey!

So now share with me in the comments below, which tip can you most use to flip that comparison hangover to fire in your own belly for your business growth? And do you have any other tips you would like to share with me and our other readers?


Kylie Patchett is a leader in women’s self mastery, combining her medical, business, and mindset coaching expertise to help her clients rock out delicious lives that nourish them mind, body, and soul, and divinely delicious businesses with crazy-good bottom lines, without sacrificing their soul or their sanity. Download Kylie’s Delicious in 7 Days mini-course at www.KyliePatchett.com.

Leave a Reply to Kylie Patchett Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

17 thoughts on “5 Ways to Flip a Comparison Hangover and Fuel Your Business

  1. Clear + comprehensive article – love it! The comparison of My Insides with Someone’s Else’s Outsides resonates so strongly for me. I had the recent experience of getting to know someone that I thought totally had it going on… turns out my perspective of her life was waaaaaay off the mark and the reality is far less shiny and smooth. It actually made me realise how fantastic MY life is, and how much is going beautifully. Sometimes a reality check is all thats needed to take that feeling of lack and turn it into a feeling of abundance 🙂

    1. Insides and Outside Shalome – totally where it’s at. I used to so defeat myself with thinking “she’s so wonderful and I will never get there” but now I am super excited when I see someone else creating something I would love to also – I feel like she is just paving the way for the rest of us. And you, lovely lady will be paving the way for someone else too! 🙂 K

  2. Number 1 – sometimes I just really have to walk away from reading what everyone else is doing, the time wasting only makes me feel worse!

  3. Great reminders in this post Kylie. For me the one tip that really stands out is the ‘Compare Apples to Raspberries’ one.

    It’s so easy to look at a website of someone who has been in business for many years and compare it to one that has only just begun. The people with the websites you are looking at have probably made many of the mistakes that you have made too, they just made sure that they kept learning and tweaking their site and their businesses to get to where they are today.

    1. OMG YES Clare – that’s so true, I was always lusting after these amazing websites but now I feel like it’s an evolutionary process and I am exactly where I need to be! 🙂 K

  4. Such great advice. Since I stopped playing the fear base game of comparing my “insides to someone else’s outside” love that – life had been awesome. Btw biz is awesome too. ❤️❤️

  5. This is such an important topic and it’s potent. I love your reference to the lizard brain. Quite often when are in comparison analysis, I think it’s important to remember that the people we are comparing ourselves to are at different stages or journey’s of their business (apples to raspberries). That’s what I remember when I do start comparing.

    1. Oh yes the lizard brain has so much to answer for – but really all this comparison is trying to keep ourselves safe in that prehistoric protective way. Once we can embrace being part of the whole instead of apart from one another it feels safe to bring out our gifts and be of service. Apples to raspberries indeedy do! x K

  6. I really resonated with your point about comparing to people who are further ahead in business. I often have to remind myself that I can’t expect to be in the same place with the same results when I find myself comparing to women who have been in business for years longer than me. Definitely these women can be the “beacons of light”, and remembering this can really help to turn around some of the anxiety that comes with comparison-itis.

  7. So true Chloe – I still want to be 100 steps ahead days but I remind myself that I will always learn from steps 1 to 99 so that being at step 100 will be so much more easy and fluid if I go one step one step one step! Hard to remember but totally true! x K

  8. I loved this Kylie! All of it, but in particular the advice that they are shining their light on your own potential. I was guilty of doing that for so long but what I have learned from it is that – yes they may be similar and oh-so-successful in what seems to be the very same thing I’m doing, BUT they are not me. They don’t have my life experience, my take on it.

    And I always come back to this – “I don’t want to compete with anyone – I genuinely hope we ALL make it”.

  9. Thanks so much Kylie! Totally understand the inside/outside comparison and it also applies to how other people perceive me… always funny when friends think I totally have it all together and am ‘successful’ even though I don’t see myself like that just yet. Can’t wait to work with you in the Conquer club and let 2015 be my year to shine & sparkle!

  10. Hi Kylie,

    Thank you so much for this article. I love how you refraim it and suggest that the success of somebody else can be an inspiration for us. Also the abundance mindset is something which resonates with me.

    We do not live in a vacuum, so I think comparison can be also a healthy thing it it is kept within reasonable boundaries. As a business owner we have to see where we are compared to others (I do not like to use the word competitors) and where we are heading.

    Thank you so much!


bite-sized wisdom to read & share