Is there someone out there in cyberspace who you consistently think has their stuff together way more than you do in business? Do you feel like everyone else is creating bigger results, with more clients and more cash flow? And more importantly, what are you making that mean about you and your ability to grow a soul-fueled business? Are you giving yourself a “comparison hangover”?
Here are 5 ways to flip a comparison hangover into fire in your belly for your own business growth:
Stop Looking Up
The time, energy, and sometimes even money you expend paying so much attention to other people’s businesses is taking away from your own, plain and simple.
Instead, honor yourself and your business with your full attention. You only have so many hours in the day; use them to do your business good, not harm. Clear out your inbox of all those subscriptions that make you feel not good enough when you open them, beware of wasting your time following competitors online, and gift your time and energy to only those things that bring you closer to your own big soul intentions for your business and life.
Stop Measuring Your Insides to Someone Else’s Outsides
We have been conditioned to measure ourselves against others from a very young age. Problem is, we cannot help comparing our internal landscape, with all its doubts and fears and wobbly bits, with someone else’s seemingly bright shiny outside. The truth is, no matter where anyone is in their entrepreneurial journey, they will be dealing with some or all of these: seeking better balance, normal human fears, procrastination or overwhelm around a new business stage, or a new level of expansion in their self-development.
Instead, stay grounded in the knowledge that behind the scenes, the person you are comparing yourself to is just another person. He or she still puts their pants on one leg at a time, just like you. Stop making yourself different.
Stop Listening to Your Lizard Brain
Prehistorically, our minds grew to send us fear messages around perceived threats to keep us safe and alive. These include the fear of not being good enough, the fear of standing out, the fear of not belonging. Comparing yourself to others can often trigger these prehistoric protective circuits in the mind, firing up the DANGER DANGER warning signals when you look outside of your own business into someone else’s world.
Instead, challenge your lizard brain, even befriend it, and talk to it. First, be aware of the dodgy beliefs. When you start to compare yourself, become crystal clear aware of the BS you are telling yourself like, “I am never going to be able to write that,” “She definitely will get more people into her group program,” or “I just don’t look that well put together.”
Second, test the belief and ask yourself “Is that really true?” And finally, consistently choose a more helpful belief. For example, when I become aware of an unhelpful thought tracking around in my head, here’s what I say: “Sweet, sweet lizard brain, thanks so much for trying to keep me safe, but I have totally GOT THIS!” Adding a helpful declaration also benefits you. For example, “No matter how real my fears appear, I am always safe and supported,” and “I am perfect whole and complete exactly as I am,” are two of my faves.
Stop Comparing Apples to Raspberries
Chances are the very people that seem like they are so much farther down the track than you, probably are. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are somehow smarter, more capable, better businesswomen or more connected than you – it simply means they may have been in the game longer. Making yourself feel less than people who have been around 10 years when you are in your first year of business is downright disrespectful to yourself, so stop it.
Instead, allow the people who have “been there, done that” to shine the light on your potential. Know that if they can create what they have in 3 years or 5 years or whatever, than so can you. The energy behind noticing what other people are doing from this standpoint is far, far more supportive of your business dreams than firing up the old not good enough chestnut.
Stop Filtering with Lack
Pay attention to what you are really making this comparison hangover about. What are you so darn afraid of honey? Is your real under the surface fear that if someone else has business success then that costs you yours? This is ridiculous. There are more than 7 billion people on the planet, so how can it possibly be reality that one person experiencing business success costs you yours?
Instead, choose to look at everything through the understanding that there are more than enough clients, revenue, freedom, growth, and abundance for everyone. Just feel how much better that feels in your body, honey!