When I work with other women entrepreneurs and admit that I struggled with my own self-limiting beliefs I always get a lot of “Amen, sister” head nodding.
We each have different beliefs to contend with, but we all seem to have stories we tell ourselves about what we can and can’t do.
- “If I fail it will be disastrous, so I won’t risk too much.”
- “I can’t run a multimillion-dollar company because I don’t have the business experience.”
- “I won’t be able to have a personal life if I am the boss.”
- “Someone else would do a better job than I would.”
Do any of these sound familiar?
The good news is that these beliefs are not as intractable as they might appear. We can learn to shed behavior and beliefs that no longer serve us and replace them with empowering ones.
I have spent thousands of dollars on therapists, coaches and attending workshops in order to eliminate some of my own peskiest self-limiting beliefs and that makes me a bona fide “belief buster.”
I was able to work with my business coach and advisors on my initial set of self-limiting beliefs that might have prevented me from raising capital. But it’s not a “once-and-done” process; I have continued to seek out people to help me get to new levels of confidence and self-awareness so I can be a better leader at Little Pim, mother to my two boys, and friend to all those who believed in me.
In my latest book, Million Dollar Women, I share these tips so that you can become a belief buster too. Here are my 4 essential steps to busting self-limiting beliefs:
- Acknowledge the beliefs that are holding you back.
- Get the self-limiting beliefs out of your head by writing them down and sharing them with someone you trust. This could be done with a coach, peer group, therapist, or mentor. It is intimate, soul-searching work, so we need to choose our guides carefully.
- Fill all the newly freed-up space in your brain with new skills and the positive opposite beliefs of the ones you got rid of. For example, you may need to replace a limiting belief like “I shouldn’t be too outspoken or people will think I’m too aggressive” with a positive version like “I am bold and confident.”
- Get active in embodying the change (and get ready to go outside your comfort zone).
There is something about seeing your limiting beliefs on paper that helps you realize they are not the truth; they are merely ideas you’ve held on to and have built a fortress around. Once you see your limiting beliefs in all their absurd and infuriating glory, you can begin to take away their power.
Now it’s your turn; In a comment below, let us know who in your life helps you bust self-limiting beliefs? Or, who can you ask to help you as you work through these 4 steps?